Fathers Day is almost upon us.

Hang on. Before you dive into this column, I should warn you that it may offend some readers. That’s not my intention, but I’m going to push forward and try not to step on too many toes.

Full disclosure, I am a hetorsexual man and I am married to a hetersexual woman. Married now for 33-plus years, we have four children, all of whom are in various stages of adulthood. We also are the legal guardian of my sister, an adult with special needs.

If you’re not offended yet, try out this: I have found that our family works best with a mother and father working more or less together as a team, each carrying out individual roles that benefit the family as a whole. Not all our roles are stereotypical gender roles.

For instance, my wife enjoys home remodeling/decorating projects. Consequently I have a shed full of tools, most of which “belong” to her. Her chop saw, her table saw, her belt sander, her wood router, power screwdriver, laser level, etc.

I suppose in a very small way that helps me understand my role in my family, which is a very small piece of a broad spectrum of how families are defined.

An essay on the Focus on the Family website — an organization founded in 1977 in Southern California by James Dobson — provides an insightful look at what many Christian families believe when it comes to the value of a father.

“Dr. David Popenoe, professor of sociology at Rutgers University and co-director of the National Marriage Project, has provided us with a good summary and overview of the [the significance of a father’s influence] in a family.

“Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers — especially biological fathers — bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring. They provide protection and economic support and male role models. They have a parenting style that is significantly different from that of a mother and that difference is important in healthy child development.”

Amen, however many, many families get along just fine without a father in the home. Perhaps a mother, aunt, grandparent, or some other person has dual roles as both mother and father figure, which makes it perfectly fine to honor your mother on both Mothers Day and Fathers Day.

However, having been a father for the last 30-plus years, I can speak only to my own family situation and the gifts I’ve received as a father on Father’s Day.

Here is my short Top 10 gift list:

No. 1: A game of catch with my oldest son, Nate. He played Little League baseball growing up, which meant we often spent time in the backyard throwing a baseball back and forth. Working on form, aim, distance, whatever. There’s something really satisfying to a father about the sound of a fast ball hitting the sweet spot of a leather mitt.

No. 2: Bamboo pole fishing with any one of my children. Any lazy Saturday afternoon is a Father’s Day gift if you can catch a ton of sunfish on a bamboo pole baited with a simple red worm.

I’ve got some pretty cool fishing gear that has mostly not caught much, but the most enjoyment I’ve had is watching the excitement when one of my kids latch onto a wriggling bluegill.

No. 3: Eating burned hot dogs. My children will tell you that I am a hot dog snob. They must be all beef; they must be cooked until they plump and they must be topped only with ketchup and mustard, maybe some sauerkraut. My children, on the other hand, all like them blackened. The blacker, the better. I don’t get it, but at least they’re easy to cook that way.

No 4: Packing for your first Boy Scout trip. One of the fondest memories of my own father was the days and days he spent gathering all the equipment I needed for my first 5-mile back-packing trip with my Boy Scouts troop. I had a brand new 6-pound external frame pack, a new 4-pound folding trench shovel, a new 2-pound aluminum mess kit, A 13-pound two-man tent with rain fly, a new 3-pound D-cell flashlight, at least 5 pounds of canned beans, sardines and beef jerky. A sleeping bag, sleeping pad rain poncho and assorting clothing, fishing gear and miscellaneous other odds and ends.

When I showed up to the church parking lot to load up with the other boys, I could barely lift the pack, which weighed something close to 60 pounds. At 11 years old, I think I may have weighed 90 pounds.

Most of the gear that Dad had gone to great lengths to shove into that new pack was left in the back of my scoutmaster’s pickup truck. Dad was great, and I believe I still have that old folding shovel somewhere.

No. 5-10: Riding roller coasters together with your children, watching college football with the kids, reading the Sunday Funnies together, daddy-daughter dates that include Peanut Buster Parfaits, building tree forts and blanket forts.

Father’s Day Life Hack: Finally here’s a secret tip for fathers that my father-in-law shared with me sometime around the birth of my only daughter. When she becomes a teenager and wants you to drive her and her friends all over town, but doesn’t want you butting into their conversations, just adjust the car’s speakers so the sound fades only to the rear seats, making it easier to eavesdrop.

Happy Father’s Day.

David Kennard is the executive editor of The Robesonian. Contact him at [email protected]

Address: 2175 N. Roberts Ave, Lumberton, NC 28358